


Forever & Faithfully

by NohrianScum (OrderOfRevan)



Series: Noscu's Corriander Collection [5]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: F/M, Mentions of Pregnancy, Pseudo-Incest, Two Blocks of Incest, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 06:45:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15043067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrderOfRevan/pseuds/NohrianScum
Summary: Corrin sees Xander break, and in spite of it all she still thinks he's beautiful.





	Forever & Faithfully

**Author's Note:**

> This is a gift for someone. Thank you for being so kind to me.

Corrin sat numbly on the edge of the futon, staring at the ceiling, the smell of fire and smoke less choking here in the inner chambers of the fort. The screams had long ago died, but she had grown used to the implications of her actions, to what she would have to accept the moment she’d watched her father order the manhunt in Cyrkensia and she’d kept her mouth shut to protect Azura. 

This was another one of those cases, of those horrible moments where she wrote her own fate in blood and tears just to see the ending she wanted. She hated it, hated the person that she had to be in order for this to be possible, would carry the scars and the nightmares inside of her for the rest of her life… But this was the cost of dismantling Nohr from the inside out. 

She had chosen this and she had no choice but to walk forward now and to accept the consequences onto herself so that no one else need suffer them. 

She placed her hand on her stomach and closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of muttering from outside of her door as Jakob and Kaze discussed her. Corrin couldn’t hear the topic of their conversation, but they rarely talked unless they were talking about her care, and right now, Jakob was probably arguing for the right to bring her tea while Kaze insisted they respect her privacy. They would argue again and again on the basis of who knew her better until Jakob won out in the end because Kaze’s heart bled with guilt that he needn’t feel any longer. 

For a moment she just sat and listened to their voices, her brows furrowing when they were joined by another voice -- a voice she’d recognize anywhere, even through walls. It was deep, rough, and right now the tone sounded tight and irritated, even more so when Kaze tried to respectfully interrupt, though he backed down when the voice bit back with uncharacteristic sharpness. 

So when her door opened and Xander stepped inside, she wasn’t particularly surprised. 

After all, even her retainers would be hard pressed to refuse the orders of a Crown Prince. 

“Corrin,” he breathed, the door shutting behind him before he took a few steps forward… And then stopped, looking uncharacteristically uncertain. 

Slowly, she pushed herself up, her bare feet barely making any sound against the cold floor as she walked towards him, reaching out for one of his hands only to find that it was trembling. Shocked, she looked up into his face, fire light sharpening his features, dark pools of shadow somehow making him look even more haunted than she had seen him the night she’d returned from Hoshido and Father had ordered him to kill her. 

“Xander,” she muttered, pulling his hand towards her face and kissing the back of his knuckles gently, “love, what’s wrong?” 

His mouth opened and closed as he shook his head, ringlets of blonde hair capturing and distorting the glow of the firelight, making him look like some sort of avenging demigod descendant of the First Dragons. 

“Everything,” he managed at last, pulling his hand away from her to rub it slowly over his face. “Corrin -- I --” 

He sucked in a breath and then pulled her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her shoulders as he buried his face in her hair, moving so quickly that she barely had time to process what was happening before he was speaking again. 

“I’ve failed,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. “All those people, Corrin, all of them dead. I … I told you that the deaths of those Father killed under your watch were not your fault, but I…”

Xander laughed bitterly, each sound choking its way from between his lips like a stutter, his hold on her tightening as his fingers wound their way into the fabric of her undershirt. “Every death is my fault,” he continued, “and no amount of swinging my sword will ever… Ever erase that. But I can’t… I can’t abandon Father --”

She stiffened in his arms, her stomach flipping like it always did every time he mentioned King Garon. Xander was the one person she wanted to confide in most about what she and Azura were planning, but he was also the one person who would never understand, and though Corrin knew in her heart of hearts Xander would do the right thing, in the end… 

She feared the process of coming to that decision would cost him his life. 

“Xander,” she muttered, pulling away from him slightly, reaching up to cup his face in both hands. “You’re not at fault, Xan--”

“But I am,” he said firmly, cutting her off as he grabbed her wrists and pulled them away, voice frayed at the edges like an old shirt about to start unraveling. “I am, Corrin. We both know it. Everyone in Nohr knows it.”

“Xander--” 

“Damnit, Corirn, just listen!” 

Xander’s eyes grew wide and he quickly drew away, sinking slowly to the ground, cradling his head in his hands. Frozen in place, Corrin watched him, wavering and uncertain of what to do, having never seen him react like this before. He looked so small, drawn in on himself with his knees tucked to his chest, visibly trembling, his voice rasping and on the edge of tears when he spoke. 

“I could stop him. I could end all of this and no one else would… Would have to suffer,” Xander said in his wavering voice. “I know he’s wrong.. I … I’ve known it for years, but I... “

Sinking into place beside him, Corrin reached out for his hands, pulling them away from his head to look at his face. It was pale, and his eyes were wide, unshed tears brimming at their edges as he stared at her with horror written into his expression, his ears slowly turning pink as he averted his gaze. 

Humiliated. 

“You’ve done what you can,” she assured him, her voice gentle as she reached out again, dropping one of his wrists to run a thumb over the sharp edge of a cheekbone. “I watch you everyday, struggling, and I know you do what you can to help as many people as you can. Xander --”

“But when he’s there,” Xander said firmly, “I lie down and let him do as he wishes, and I… I tell myself… That I must do it. I… participate. Corrin… Corrin… All that blood… It’s on my hands… You shouldn’t… You shouldn’t…” 

“Shouldn’t what?” she demanded, irritation flaring up inside of her as she looked at him. “Shouldn’t love you? Shouldn’t be with you? Xander, in case you haven’t noticed --” she dragged the hand she still held to her stomach, pressing his palm against it. “It’s already too late for that.” 

He looked at her like she had slapped him and quickly drew his hand away, fair brow furrowing even more deeply as he covered his mouth with his fingers. Corrin could do nothing other than watch as he began to cry, the first of his sobs choked out of his mouth as if he were desperately trying to hold it back, his entire body shaking as he doubled over completely. Hot tears fell onto the ground as he supported himself with one arm, and she realized in horror that she had driven him to the breaking point. 

Guilt pooled in her stomach for the second time this night, but it hurt more this time. 

It was too personal, and there was no way she could possibly justify her actions.

Not when he had held her in his arms and comforted her when she’d had these same worries. 

“You shouldn't listen to a thing I say,” he managed, the words coming out broken, gasped between breaths that shuddered between his teeth. “I’m a hypocrite. I… I don’t … I don’t know what I believe anymore. I…” 

“If you defied him, would you be dead?” she asked him, his mouth falling open, his eyes staring at his hand, still pressed against her stomach. “Would you be another casualty of the war with Hoshido? You told me to stand by my beliefs and to what I believe is right, and that’s what I’m doing.”

“But I’m not,” he replied, staring at his hand. “Corrin, I’m not doing what I believe is right.” She watched as Xander drew in a breath, stroking his thumb over her stomach, ever so gentle, “I only do what I believe is right when Father can’t see me.” 

“But that’s the same as me,” Corrin said, reaching out for him again, running her hands through his already disheveled hair. “Xander, that’s the exact same as what I’m doing. Father can’t be reasoned with; you were the one who taught me that.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he muttered, leaning closer to her, placing his hands on her hips. “None of it matters, Corrin. There isn’t a single day I don’t --”

This time she silenced him, gently drawing him in for a kiss as she brushed the tears from his eyes. Slowly he melted into her, arms circling her waist as he kissed her back, releasing a shaky breath against her mouth when she nipped gently at his bottom lip. 

“I hate myself,” he said,  her heart squeezing in her chest, voice caught in her throat as she kissed him again, moving her lips down his jaw, nipping softly at his neck. 

“But I love you,” Corrin replied, reaching up to unbutton his shirt. “I love you more than anything,” she said, listening to his breath hitch as she pulled the ends of his shirt from his pants and ran her hands over his exposed chest. “I love you so much that it hurts when I can’t hold you in my arms every night like you deserve to be held,” she breathed against his skin as she pulled him slowly backwards towards the futon, grasping both halves of his open shirt. 

She released them only to lean back on the futon, her fingers moving to her own shirt, making quick work of it. Xander gazed down at her from above, his face raw and soft at the same time as he watched her carefully shrug off her shirt and remove her bra, tossing them both to the side. She watched his tongue dart out to lick his lips, watched as his shirt fell to the floor behind him and he finally crawled forward, caging her underneath him, though he still looked unsure. 

“Make love to me,” Corrin beckoned, her hands ghosting over the shoulders she’d clutched while in the throes so many times now. “Lose yourself in me again and again, as many times as it takes for you to know how loved you are.” 

Pressing her hands flat against his back, she was ready when he leaned in to kiss her, the press of his lips more insistent than it had been before. Breath shuddering when he moved his mouth to her neck, she pulled him closer, making a small noise of surprise when he flipped them so that she was lying on top of his chest. 

Slowly his hands moved across her skin, his lips still teasing her neck as one of his large hands cupped her ass and pressed them flush together. Reaching up, she ran one of her hands through her hair and then slowly began to grind their hips together, listening to the sounds he made -- Soft hitches of breath, sighs that choked off into curses and moans, and her name on his lips again and again and again. 

“You’re so handsome,” she whispered, pressing kisses all over his face, feeling him getting hard because of her, shuddering at the thought. 

“I don’t deserve you,” he rumbled, though he made no effort to pull away.

Instead, he pulled her forward, ducking his head to suck on one of her breasts, hands carefully kneading her ass. Corrin could only groan, pressing her chest into his face, though she didn’t want to suffocate him, her breath shuddering when he pulled away, hot breath ghosting over her sensitive skin. His mouth wasn’t gone for long, pressing desperately to every bit of flesh he could reach, hands tugging at her pants with an urgency that she tried to match by lifting her hips for him. 

“Take them off,” he managed, pushing at her shoulders, “please, take it all off.”

Corrin laughed softly, watching the way his already flushed face darkened further, kissing his lips softly before she stood up and stripped completely. For a moment, she just looked down at him, letting out a gasp and a laugh as he sat up and grasped her by the calves, looking ridiculously serious, even shirtless between her thighs. 

“Don’t tease me,” he said, his voice almost, but not quite, a plea as he pressed a kiss against her left thigh. “Come back to me,” Xander muttered, tugging her closer, her knees buckling, his hands helping to guide her forward. “I can’t stand it if we’re not touching.”

His words sent shivers up her spine and she tried to remember a time when he’d been like this before, her mind going blank the moment she realized she was practically crouched over his face. She could feel his breath on her, hot pants as she nose skimmed through her pubic hair, his lips pressing a kiss over her clit as she swallowed hard. 

“I need to taste you,” he said, and then wasted no time in licking the length of her slit as his arms circled her thighs to hold her in place. 

“Xander!” she gasped, throwing her head back as he licked her again, Corrin pushing at her arms and shaking her head from side to side, even though the sight of him like this made her dizzy. “Xander, please! I don’t… I don’t want to…” 

He teased her clit with his tongue and lips, humming against her as he pulled away, her pleas apparently finally reaching his ears. “Corrin?” he asked, voice rough, his expression confused as she pulled away, reaching her hand down between them to rub him through his pants. 

Xander bucked up into her palm, his eyes going wide as he groaned, staring at her with something akin to disbelief written on his face. Slowly, she pressed a finger to his lips to stop him from objecting, then carefully kissed him, her hand never leaving his probably very painful erection. 

“I love it when you do that,” she muttered, “but right now, I just want to show you how much I love you, so don’t…” She kissed him again when he opened his mouth to speak, swallowing his noise of muffled surprise. “Don’t,” she breathed against his lips, “focus on pleasuring me right now. All I need to get off is for you to take me and fill me.”

The words seemed to shift something inside of him, his hands seizing her hips as he crushed their lips together , the desperation from before returning in full force. Xander, usually so carefully restrained, clung to her like she was the only thing keeping him alive, the words “I hate myself” echoing in her head as she began to strip off his pants. 

She’d barely managed to free his erection before he had flipped them again, her hands and knees on the futon as he leaned over her, his teeth and mouth sucking at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. Without any preamble, he was slipping fingers inside of her as she pressed back against him, rutting against her ass and leaving her to wonder how many more times he’d change position before he felt satisfied with himself. Right now, he seemed so apart from the man he usually was, his fingers so frantic that she barely had time to breathe between the gasps he was pulling from her lips. 

“Corrin,” he muttered, “Corrin,” he repeated, chanting her name in a strained voice. “I can’t stand it… When I’m not with you… I…”

He trailed off, thumb circling her clit as he pushed another finger inside of her, making sure that she was ready to take him. Eagerly, she rocked back against his hand, glancing at him over her shoulder to find him staring at her with the most intense expression she had ever seen him wearing, his eyes focusing on her face the moment he saw her staring. 

“I fall apart without you,” he said at last, leaning over her, covering her hand with his own. “I am not… I am not the man you think I am… I… I …”

“Xander…” she began, but he hushed her, pushing a third finger inside of her and thrusting them hard, drawing more noises from her lips until the only way she could say his name was to gasp it. 

Slowly, he drew his fingers from her, his hands ghosting over her body before he pulled her back against his chest, made a noise, and then turned her around so that she was sitting in his lap, facing him. For a moment, he simply looked at her, his thumb brushing across her lips, his face softening as he leaned forward and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead before he helped her lift her hips and then slowly… 

Slowly… 

Guided himself into her body. 

She grasped at his shoulders, listening to the intake of his breath as she sunk down on him, watching his face, the way his lips parted as if to speak, how his brows furrowed in an entirely different way as his hands found their way to her hips. And then, just as slowly as he’d pushed into her, he was helping her back up only to let her sink down on him again, pressed so closely against him that her breasts slid against his chest every time she moved. 

Corrin tangled her fingers in his perfect hair, his breath hitching as they both moved again, Xander thrusting his hips up to meet her as she leaned forward to kiss him. His grip on her tightened in response, the two of them moving together, their pace langurious as he drew it out, every sigh from her lips, watching every flutter of her lashes, seeming to just drink her in. 

“Xander,” she sighed against his mouth, stroking the hair at the nape of his neck. “Xander… You’re so good to me… Oh… Oh… Gods… Xander… Love…”

He watched her, and Corrin saw him swallow, his breath stuttering as she moved more quickly, burying her face against his neck. The muscles of his arms twitched, and she pressed herself more insistently against his chest, grinding against him when she came back down. 

“Brave… Kind… My Xander…” she continued, pressing her lips to his shoulders and neck, wanting to drive him mad, to make him lose control like he so often had, “so strong… I won’t let you be alone.”

It was those words that caused something inside of him to snap, the pair of them falling back onto the futon before she could even lift her hips. Suddenly, her legs and arms wrapped around him were the only things keeping her stable as he caged her below him, thrusting hard and deep and fast all at once, the pace he’d set completely abandoned. 

Corrin could do nothing more than cry out and arch against him, their foreheads pressed together, his breath coming out rasping and… And…

And then something wet fell on her face, and she realized between his thrusts, pleasure shooting through her body, that he was crying. 

“Corrin!” he managed, voice caught between a groan and a sob. “Corrin… Corrin… Corrin…!”

Again and again, her name on his lips as she writhed against him, trying to meet his brutal rhythm, his body pressed to her as he touched her wherever she could and she simply held on to him. All she could do was cry out for him, her fingers digging into his back as she clung to him, the floorboards beneath the futon creaking with the force of his thrusts, seeing stars each time he angled himself perfectly. 

She could tell when he was getting close only when his thrusts began to stutter and his breathing grew even more uneven. Corrin tried to do everything she could to edge him closer, thrusting her hips back against him with what little leverage she had, squeezing her thighs around his body, pulling his hair in the way that always made his breath shudder in arousal. 

When he did come he came hard, his voice so loud that she was certain anyone nearby could hear him, forgetting to muffle himself in the moment. He spent himself inside her, hot, body trembling as she rolled them both onto their sides before he could collapse boneless and pin her underneath him. 

His breath was still labored, tears still leaking from his eyes, as she reached out to gently touch his face, lashes flickering open as he stared at her. Corrin leaned forward, kissing both of his cheeks as she wiped the tears from the corner of his eyes, feeling his arms wind around her tightly. She stilled burned with arousal, but… 

But she could deal with that later, if she decided to deal with it at all. 

“I need you,” he said, burying his face in her hair, his voice strained. “You are… The only thing that makes sense in my life.”

“Xander…” Corrin said, exhaling his name as she stroked her hands soothingly down his back. “It’s going to be okay. You’re not a monster, Xander. You could never be a monster.” 

He didn’t respond, but she could feel him swallow, knew he was crying again by the damp strands of hair pressing against her skin. Inside of her, anger burned as hot as her love as she thought about the man who had broken Xander to this point, who had driven him to do things so opposed to his nature that he couldn’t see the beauty in his own fragmented pieces or understand how incredible he was just for being able to hold his family together. 

“You’re a good man,” she said more firmly, “no matter what you think, love, you’re a good man. And you will be a wonderful father.”

She heard him choke, tightening her hold on him.

“I mean it,” Corrin said, her heart still on fire and caught somewhere in her throat. “Whatever you think about yourself, Xander.”

The Wall wasn’t his fault.

His Father’s orders weren’t his fault.

And in some ways, he was still just the same boy who had fed and bathed her that day King Garon had brought her to Windmire. The kind, sensitive boy with the frightened eyes whose kindness had made her believe that people could be good again, even though the hands that fed his infant sister were the same hands that had brought enemies to bear. 

If the world has made him cold, she would warm his heart and his bed until he could smile again. 

“I love you,” she whispered, “and I’m not going anywhere. You’ll have me, and whatever comes next, I swear… We’ll face it together.” 

He held the entire world upon his shoulders, carried the fate of Nohr, and as he drew back to look her in the face, his large hands lovingly cupping her cheeks, she knew that she was the one who carried his heart so dearly in her hands. Xander wouldn’t break as long as he had something to hold onto, and somehow, in spite of everything, she had become the glue that held his tennous ideals of country and family together. 

Like so many other things, his life was in her hands, and her life…

It was in his. 

“Together,” Xander agreed, kissing her again, his lips feather light against her own. “You are mine, my Corrin, and I…” He trailed his lips up the bridge of her nose and then back down before kissing her again, still so gentle, but tinged with a hint of desperate love that promised their night was far from over. 

Slowly, he opened his eyes, staring at her, taking her hand and guiding it slowly to his chest. Eyes red and sore, he bowed his head and pressed their foreheads together once more, covering her hand with his own. 

“I am forever and faithfully yours,” he said, the vulnerability and conviction in his voice warming her heart to the possibility of a bright future even in the midst of the darkness that had consumed her life. 


End file.
